NFL Playoffs: Kickers Rule







So far in the NFL Playoffs the kickers have been displaying pivotal domination. 





They’re usually forgotten and disrespected. But, this year, they’ve been the ones left in the lonely high pressure spotlight. 





If you look at their stats and how many points they score, you’d think they must be 6’9” and weigh 255 lbs and run like a sprinter. 





In reality they might be 5’11” and weigh around 180. 





Kickers never catch or even fall on a football. They only touch a football to put in on a tee. A kicker gets to wear a uniform so that a referee doesn’t think a fan ran out onto the field. 





A kicker never has to hit the weight room if he doesn't want to. He doesn’t even have to wear pads. A kicker is the only guy on the team that hopes someone runs into him. That way he gets another chance to score if he misses. 





You know how some guys watch their diets and wear out exercise bicycles? Kickers could eat pizza and drink beer all day as long as he splits the uprights. Nobody cares how fast he can run the 40 yard dash. His longest run is when he runs off the field. 





Each NFL playoffs game last week ended with a field goal. Fortunes were won and lost not only on the field but also in casinos and online betting. They are the only players that make fans pucker when they enter a game. 





Kickers have to keep warm and dry at all times. They can wear leg warmers like a ballet dancer while in sub-zero weather, but the snap has to be quick while they stand there defenseless on the frozen tundra. 





They kick for the mortgage.





If a kicker gets cold and misses too many he might as well go school to learn how to drive a truck. 





With all the high stakes they are responsible for, you’d think teams would treat them as valuable as quarterbacks or linebackers. The other specialists cost teams front offices bundles of cash or a trade or draft choices. 





The kicker is treated like a transient. They can bounce from one team to another sometimes multiple times a season. If one is drafted in the early rounds it makes headlines. 





Kids dreaming of football fantasize being running backs or quarterbacks or wide receivers. They have heroes named Mahomes or Brady or Kupp. None of them dream of the game on the line and being Harrison Butt Kicker or Shooter McPherson or Matt the kicker is jacked Gay. Names made famous during these NFL Playoffs.





Those guys don’t even get their uniforms dirty. 


Erik Drost,  via Wikimedia Commons

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