Showing posts from August, 2022

Tom Brady’s Personal Reasons

  Tom Brady said he was going through a lot of shit. Here’s what it was. I think I know what was going on. There have been lots of rumors around  Tom Brady  for the past couple of years. The one about the Miami Dolphins is the most telling. Miami is the place that Brady’s wife, supermodel  Gisele Bundchen  wants to live. It’s an international city where all the rich celebrities are. Those are her people. Tampa Bay isn’t. Compared to Miami, Tampa is a country backwater. It’s Jersey City compared to New York City. It’s Tulsa compared to Dallas. It’s Oakland compared to San Francisco. No self-respecting multi-millionaire jet setter admits they live in back in the hollars of the hill country to other rich beautiful people. It’s like being Eva Gabor living in Hooterville . Her wealthy friends are always trying to rescue her. When Brady originally left his old team, the New England Patriots, his plan was to sign with a team that played in one of the NFL’s glamour spots. When you’re married t

Lakers Trade For Russell Westbrook’s Nemesis

  It’s about to get petty in Lakerland If management wants to make it uncomfortable in the workplace for someone, it hires a person that drives the employee nutty. I mean,  there are other ways, but in professional sports, your team acquiring the one pest that has disrupted your game is a big way of telling you to be amenable to a move to get you out of town. How do you say we don’t want you without coming out to say we don’t want you? Go get the guy that makes your nostrils flare. For  Los Angeles Lakers  player Russell Westbrook, that player is Patrick Beverley. For years now they have tormented one another. During the playoffs in 2013, Beverley was guarding Westbrook. He wanted a timeout, but Beverley made a move to steal the ball and ran into Westbrook’s knee, and blew it out before the referee could blow the whistle. Westbrook missed the rest of the postseason and much of the next year. They continued the feud since then. Once their jawing back and forth got so heated that the pol

North Pole Dancers

  It was early morning when the janitor crew made it to the snowbank from Moose Creek. There he had to clean up after the previous nights festivities. “This is the dumbest place to have a pole dancing festival thing. Whoever thought of this has a screw loose.” The idea came from 22-year-old Roman Bombardo of Fairfield, New Jersey. One night, Roman and a couple of his friends were in a local strip club when he had an idea. “I was thinking ‘Where would be the place that would have the best place to have a pole dancing bar?’ The most unique location possible. They already have them on islands and in cities and stuff. Where would be a place we could promote? My buddy Pate said Poland. I thought, nah, that’s too big. Then it hit me. The North Pole! I bet nobody thought of that before!” That set the wheels in motion. The plan to fund his new project was simple. Roman had just gotten a multi-million dollar inheritance coupled with a settlement from an insurance claim. “Something happened to m

Me and Elvis

  My mother mentioned Elvis so much, I thought he was a relative While growing up in our house,  Elvis Presley  was very much present. We didn’t have the black velvet Elvis paintings and Elvis music wasn’t played that much in the house. The times Mom sent me to the store to get the  Los Angeles Sunday Times  was when her Elvis fixation reared its head. My parents went to Las Vegas a lot.  Three or four times a year, they’d pack up and leave for a few days, leaving me with my grandparents. After a time, I knew when they were going to leave when I heard the name Elvis. She’d be on the phone with one of her friends or family when she’d say  ‘We’re going to Vegas to see Elvis’. I thought Elvis Presley was a family member To my 8-year-old self, this was very befuddling. They were leaving me to see someone that was like a mythical being. Elvis Presley was like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Why hadn’t I met Elvis? How come this Elvis guy was some kind of mystery ?  The adults talked about

Good Mourning!

  You can’t spell funeral without fun! A friend of mine suggested a side gig after a roommate came up short on rent. I had an idea to get something fun to do instead of the usual soul crushing low-pay bore fest that permeates the current want ads. Something where I could be entertained as well as compensated. The previously stated friend had watched the fine movie  Wedding Crashers . After looking into if there were such jobs as a professional wedding crasher (there weren’t), he noticed a posting for paid funeral attendees. When a funeral service has little to no attendance, a service can provide paid mourners to go to a funeral, speak well of the deceased to friends or family and to be respectful at the service. Going to funerals wasn’t something that I ever did. If someone that I knew died, I’d usually say I was going, but then back out just before. When a pet died, I wouldn’t even go to that. I’d usually just get buzzed and avoid the whole thing. But the allure of getting paid chang